Z & B- Interesting and informative. I find the tone of the piece to be effective and entertaining, with a few small caveats-
At the beginning, each statement is followed by an equivocation ("Well maybe that is a little harsh, but there is some truth to it"). Perhaps stating the concern - that Coal Power is an unparalleled polluter - without undermining your premise by wavering could be more effective.
There are minor stylistic issues that could be addressed - "Dirty for the environment" is one such cumbersome phrase. Maybe detrimental, or unhealthy, or even dangerous/threatening, but things are not "dirty" for other things (on this type of website, in any case).
It might be helpful to paraphrase the content of some of the videos - Why, for example, would the electric company have to pay me if I use solar panels? You should perhaps elaborate on this or provide a more effective teaser to get me to click the link.
You guys did a good job on the draft. You explained what is for the most part relatively technical information in an easy to understand format. It would be helpful for you to explain what GWs and MWs are in the section on solar power- i really dont have a frame of reference to understand how much power that is. Also, as a formatting suggestion, maybe you could use the home page as an intro about coal power and then provide links in the sidebar to the other alternative sources of energy, so its not just one long piece. It works well the way it is though, and it was very informative.
Z and B, I thought you two done a nice job on informing the audience about the dangers of pollution and how beneficial solar and wind power can be with respect to stopping these dangers. I also found your videos to be very helpful in getting a better picture of the whole idea (very informative). I think you guys have a solid base to build on for the final project. Good Job.
I thought that your website had some very good information. I saw several grammar errors so make sure to go through and proofread the essay. As a whole your essay comes off with a lot of excitement which keeps the reader interested and excited on the issue.
Z & B-
ReplyDeleteInteresting and informative. I find the tone of the piece to be effective and entertaining, with a few small caveats-
At the beginning, each statement is followed by an equivocation ("Well maybe that is a little harsh, but there is some truth to it"). Perhaps stating the concern - that Coal Power is an unparalleled polluter - without undermining your premise by wavering could be more effective.
There are minor stylistic issues that could be addressed - "Dirty for the environment" is one such cumbersome phrase. Maybe detrimental, or unhealthy, or even dangerous/threatening, but things are not "dirty" for other things (on this type of website, in any case).
It might be helpful to paraphrase the content of some of the videos - Why, for example, would the electric company have to pay me if I use solar panels? You should perhaps elaborate on this or provide a more effective teaser to get me to click the link.
Good draft.
You guys did a good job on the draft. You explained what is for the most part relatively technical information in an easy to understand format. It would be helpful for you to explain what GWs and MWs are in the section on solar power- i really dont have a frame of reference to understand how much power that is. Also, as a formatting suggestion, maybe you could use the home page as an intro about coal power and then provide links in the sidebar to the other alternative sources of energy, so its not just one long piece. It works well the way it is though, and it was very informative.
ReplyDeleteZ and B, I thought you two done a nice job on informing the audience about the dangers of pollution and how beneficial solar and wind power can be with respect to stopping these dangers. I also found your videos to be very helpful in getting a better picture of the whole idea (very informative). I think you guys have a solid base to build on for the final project. Good Job.
ReplyDeleteI thought that your website had some very good information. I saw several grammar errors so make sure to go through and proofread the essay. As a whole your essay comes off with a lot of excitement which keeps the reader interested and excited on the issue.
ReplyDelete